But as I've said before, my mom didn't raise a quitter.
I was the kid in high school that finished their homework during the lecture. That's how quickly I picked things up. This isn't to toot my own horn, it's to serve as an example of why I'm so frustrated. It wasn't until college that I had to struggle. I spent my first 2 years taking classes in hard sciences. Think biochemistry, microbiology and organic chemistry. I really had to apply myself and even then, I wasn't scoring the 4.0 I was used to.
And I made it my goal to succeed not just because I wanted to graduate but because I wasn't going to be defeated by stupid arrangements and reactions of carbon molecules. And eventually I did succeed. I got low A's and high B's. That wasn't enough to get me into my university's Dietetics program, so I did a 180 and get a degree in English. But that's a story for another day.
Now I'm out of practice for studying and for really pushing myself. That's not to say I've been complacent, I just faced molehills, but this is a mountain. I graduated about 6 years ago, and it's been about that much time since I've had to sit my ass down at a desk and recopy notes in more colorful ink so I remember them better. Since I've had to sit and stew in my own failure and cluelessness and sort things out.
But I'll do it. I have to do it. No one likes being uncomfortable, no one like feeling like they're stupid. I know that if I dedicate the time to learning this that I can get it. That the feelings of discomfort will fade away and soon I'll be writing code like an amateur (way too early to say a pro).
I've lost too many potential skills because of frustration over not catching on quickly. Maybe I'll go back and give them another chance, but I'm drawing the line here. I'm going to pick it back up and try again. It might not be easy and it might not be enjoyable at first but in the end, I think it'll be worth it.
What would you pick back up and try again?